When everything just goes wrong...

Have you ever had one of those periods of life in which you just don't know what else can go wrong? Two weeks ago I received a phone call from my doctor saying she had to refer me to an orthopedic clinic because she wasn't sure if I'll need surgery for my sclerosis yet. Two days later I found out my car needed a new transmission. On top of these news, I've been working on my own business endeavors, managing my husband's business, working part time, and all my mommy and wife duties too- not to mention the agony I was in because of the pain in my lower back. Agh!

It's been two weeks and I barely got my car back! How can such a simple thing make us so happy? Why do we focus on the bad instead of the good? These two weeks were miserable, I couldn't get out of the house, I borrowed my sister's car just to leave work before even starting, I had to rent a car to go to a client's initial consultation... But, why was I so miserable? I had food, clothing, water, shelter, entertainment, warmth- I had everything I needed!

I was focusing on the bad news, not the reality of my life. My car was getting fixed, we were going to be able to pay for it, my baby was with me the whole time, I got a client to do an initial consultation for, I got ahead with a lot of our wedding planning...

So many times we focus so much on the bad news that we forget to stop, look up, and kneel. God is so good to us. He always has been! Why do we ignore Him?


PS. We're already married, but never got to have a celebration so we are doing it now! :)

Rejection: God feels it too

This week I came to an abrupt realization that most of my life has been filled with rejection from people I didn't know, people I wanted to like me, people I dearly cared about, and even family members.

Growing up I was never the cute girl, so I never had a secret admirer, and my first boyfriend didn't happen until I was seventeen and a half. I was never the one to dump- I was dumped. Every time. There are a lot of things my parents did to make me feel rejected as well. Don't get me wrong.. I love them dearly and they did what they could, but we're all human and everyone makes mistakes. At church, the youth is usually rejected and reprimanded- nothing different in my case. I wasn't fantastic at sports, but I did get a pity spot on a team freshman and sophomore year in soccer. (lol) As I was super skinny because of a speedy metabolism, my body type was rejected by my peers as healthy and I was labeled "anorexic" by them (even though I could eat twice as much as any of them).

It's the worst feeling in the world to be rejected over and over again isn't it?

At first I thought that after I got married I would never have to deal with those feelings again. I thought nobody's rejection would matter anymore because I'd have a loving husband that would give me the world. Oh, I was wrong. The fact is life is life. It keeps going, and there is not one person in this world that can make rejection easier.

I am being brought to tears right now. Can you imagine the pain Jesus has to go through every second? He not only gets rejected by us, but also forgotten, ignored, pushed aside, left for last, despised... As humans it is so easy to get carried away in our own little worlds, goals, tasks, to-do lists, children, spouses, etc. that we forget him so easily. We reject His calling.

This week I also came to realize I'm doing way too much at one time. I'm working part time at a design firm, I'm managing my husband's business, I'm trying to start up my own business, I'm a mom to a toddler (that alone should be enough), I'm a wife, I'm a teacher for teens at my church, and I'm doing the Luke bible study over at Good Morning Girls! How am I still alive?!

Through all of this I've pushed my God aside. Yeah, I'm studying, but I'm not really studying. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes we just go through the motions and think it's enough. Sadly, it's not. If you're not doing it wholeheartedly, don't even bother.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

Don't let yourself be the one to be disqualified from this run! Don't just run to run- REALLY RUN. Let God be your legs, so that you may win. I am currently working on trying to pray more. It's something I've let myself get used to being without, and it's not a great feeling. It's a lonely feeling. Will you join me and take two minutes out of your day and just talk to Him?

Just keep swimming..

Alright, I know I'm a little old for Finding Nemo, but that song sure lightens my spirits and helps me keep pushing forward- especially after the past couple weeks!

I'm an interior designer and was sought out by my church to create designs for our stage last year. I agreed wholeheartedly. At the time I was finishing my last year of college and was totally overwhelmed by the amount of work I had to do for school, but I made time to select finishes and create three designs. The first time I presented them to the board of directors and seemed to get a good response from most people. Anyway, a lot of drama happened in between that presentation and my next presentation to the church in general.

The devil never sleeps.

It is so sad to see grown men and women act like children because they're not getting what they want. There has been a group of people at my church that have thrown full blown adult tantrums about the designs. Yes, I'm only 22, and these people are acting like children. I don't know what it is that makes them act the way they do. At my last presentation these people told me (in front of the whole church) that I don't know what I'm doing, that my designs are ugly, that I've bought the pastor (really?!), that they know more than I do about structural walls, etc. It doesn't end.

But... God never sleeps, either!

This whole process has been a very rough one for me as it is my first "real-life" project. Other designers who've been working for longer than I have assure me it's good that I'm dealing with all these people early on as it will prepare me for the future. Sometimes I just want to quit and let them do whatever they want. But when I started working on this project I made a commitment to God that I'd make sure this would get done right, because He deserves nothing less! It was my promise to God to do all this for free as well, and these people make it hard to want to keep that promise sometimes.

I am proud to say that at my last presentation I realized there are more people in favor of what I'm doing than not in favor. I have faith that my God will stay with me throughout this whole process and He will be victorious!

All I have to do is just keep swimming!

Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted."... (Matthew 15:28)