When everything just goes wrong...

Have you ever had one of those periods of life in which you just don't know what else can go wrong? Two weeks ago I received a phone call from my doctor saying she had to refer me to an orthopedic clinic because she wasn't sure if I'll need surgery for my sclerosis yet. Two days later I found out my car needed a new transmission. On top of these news, I've been working on my own business endeavors, managing my husband's business, working part time, and all my mommy and wife duties too- not to mention the agony I was in because of the pain in my lower back. Agh!

It's been two weeks and I barely got my car back! How can such a simple thing make us so happy? Why do we focus on the bad instead of the good? These two weeks were miserable, I couldn't get out of the house, I borrowed my sister's car just to leave work before even starting, I had to rent a car to go to a client's initial consultation... But, why was I so miserable? I had food, clothing, water, shelter, entertainment, warmth- I had everything I needed!

I was focusing on the bad news, not the reality of my life. My car was getting fixed, we were going to be able to pay for it, my baby was with me the whole time, I got a client to do an initial consultation for, I got ahead with a lot of our wedding planning...

So many times we focus so much on the bad news that we forget to stop, look up, and kneel. God is so good to us. He always has been! Why do we ignore Him?


PS. We're already married, but never got to have a celebration so we are doing it now! :)

My Struggle With Prayer

As I've mentioned before, I've been trying to pray more. I've gotten to a place in my life where I am comfortable, and there really isn't much challenging me at the moment. I've reached a plateau.

Unfortunately, we all reach plateaus at one point or another and it feels as if we've hit a standstill. Where do I go from here?

It is through these plateaus that we must pray the most, study the bible the most, and be as close to God as possible. These plateaus are our testing periods, and where the devil tries his hardest to make us fall. He will do anything in his power to make us tremble, cry, break down, and lose hope.

Most of the time, it isn't until the devil starts poking us that we remember to pray. We can't afford to be comfortable where we are. This world is not our home, so why do we feel comfortable?

Challenge yourself to constantly be uncomfortable and in constant contact with God. Many times we think He's left us when in reality we've left Him. We've told Him we can do it ourselves, we're powerful, we're strong, we can win, but we can't! We are measly little humans. We need help from He who is all powerful, almighty, and always loving.

God is only a knee-bend away!

Finances

So these last couple of Sabbaths my husband and I have been in a Sabbath morning class that has been talking about finances and how to handle it.

Something the book said was "you can not be a committed follower of Jesus Christ and remain irresponsible with your money". Wow that really got to me. Jesus needs us to be responsible with our money. We need to use our money in a way we think HE would use our money. I don't think HE would spend his money on a video game when there is someone out there that needs those 40 bucks more than you.

"No one can serve two masters. Either you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You can not serve both God and money." (Luke 16:13)

 Some may be surprised but the Bible does speak a lot about money, and how God wants us to use it.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" Matthew 6:21

 "God doesn't want your money, but he doesn't want your money to have you." That was interesting. In this society we think only about ourselves and what we can get- what is out there that's new and better than what I have. Now, don't get me wrong, having things are good but there are people out there who buy cars that they can't afford or a house that is way more than their budget and then they have to take out a double mortgage. The sad thing is we get those things because society tells us bigger nicer things are better. But bigger is not always better and more is not always better. I've heard it a million times there are billionaires who have everything and are still not happy. Why? Because material things do not make people happy. A couple years ago I went to Peru to help build a church. I went to a really poor section in Peru where the kids wore the same clothes every single day and they were the happiest people I've ever met. I was so happy there too. They had nothing and they were so happy!

Something that my husband and I have been doing these last couple weeks have been tracking our spending. The first week we found out we spent a lot of money on food. Eating out I think in one week was like $120 just for us two. Think about it. Let's say we do that every week (which we have done) that's almost $500 a month. Now in a year that's like $6,000.  WOW! Now that's just food and we also buy food for home, so we have food at home but we still eat out so that is a lot. That money can go to help some one else out- someone who is less fortunate than us.

We need to set financial goals so we can move forward in life and go where God wants us to go in life.

I think my goal would be to be able to live comfortably and give as much as I can. Giving and helping really makes me happy.

So last thing.. Another thing we've been doing is started to give our tithe (10%) to God which is a hard one sometimes to do cause sometimes it feels like how can I give 10%? I barely have enough for myself or my bills. Well it does feel like that, but I notice that when I do I feel happy and I always end up being able to pay all my bills and get other things I want. God will help you. He doesn't want you to fail. He wants you to go forward. So why, if you're giving back to Him, would he not let you pay your bills?

Rejection: God feels it too

This week I came to an abrupt realization that most of my life has been filled with rejection from people I didn't know, people I wanted to like me, people I dearly cared about, and even family members.

Growing up I was never the cute girl, so I never had a secret admirer, and my first boyfriend didn't happen until I was seventeen and a half. I was never the one to dump- I was dumped. Every time. There are a lot of things my parents did to make me feel rejected as well. Don't get me wrong.. I love them dearly and they did what they could, but we're all human and everyone makes mistakes. At church, the youth is usually rejected and reprimanded- nothing different in my case. I wasn't fantastic at sports, but I did get a pity spot on a team freshman and sophomore year in soccer. (lol) As I was super skinny because of a speedy metabolism, my body type was rejected by my peers as healthy and I was labeled "anorexic" by them (even though I could eat twice as much as any of them).

It's the worst feeling in the world to be rejected over and over again isn't it?

At first I thought that after I got married I would never have to deal with those feelings again. I thought nobody's rejection would matter anymore because I'd have a loving husband that would give me the world. Oh, I was wrong. The fact is life is life. It keeps going, and there is not one person in this world that can make rejection easier.

I am being brought to tears right now. Can you imagine the pain Jesus has to go through every second? He not only gets rejected by us, but also forgotten, ignored, pushed aside, left for last, despised... As humans it is so easy to get carried away in our own little worlds, goals, tasks, to-do lists, children, spouses, etc. that we forget him so easily. We reject His calling.

This week I also came to realize I'm doing way too much at one time. I'm working part time at a design firm, I'm managing my husband's business, I'm trying to start up my own business, I'm a mom to a toddler (that alone should be enough), I'm a wife, I'm a teacher for teens at my church, and I'm doing the Luke bible study over at Good Morning Girls! How am I still alive?!

Through all of this I've pushed my God aside. Yeah, I'm studying, but I'm not really studying. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes we just go through the motions and think it's enough. Sadly, it's not. If you're not doing it wholeheartedly, don't even bother.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

Don't let yourself be the one to be disqualified from this run! Don't just run to run- REALLY RUN. Let God be your legs, so that you may win. I am currently working on trying to pray more. It's something I've let myself get used to being without, and it's not a great feeling. It's a lonely feeling. Will you join me and take two minutes out of your day and just talk to Him?