Friday, February 15, 2013

Rejection: God feels it too

This week I came to an abrupt realization that most of my life has been filled with rejection from people I didn't know, people I wanted to like me, people I dearly cared about, and even family members.

Growing up I was never the cute girl, so I never had a secret admirer, and my first boyfriend didn't happen until I was seventeen and a half. I was never the one to dump- I was dumped. Every time. There are a lot of things my parents did to make me feel rejected as well. Don't get me wrong.. I love them dearly and they did what they could, but we're all human and everyone makes mistakes. At church, the youth is usually rejected and reprimanded- nothing different in my case. I wasn't fantastic at sports, but I did get a pity spot on a team freshman and sophomore year in soccer. (lol) As I was super skinny because of a speedy metabolism, my body type was rejected by my peers as healthy and I was labeled "anorexic" by them (even though I could eat twice as much as any of them).

It's the worst feeling in the world to be rejected over and over again isn't it?

At first I thought that after I got married I would never have to deal with those feelings again. I thought nobody's rejection would matter anymore because I'd have a loving husband that would give me the world. Oh, I was wrong. The fact is life is life. It keeps going, and there is not one person in this world that can make rejection easier.

I am being brought to tears right now. Can you imagine the pain Jesus has to go through every second? He not only gets rejected by us, but also forgotten, ignored, pushed aside, left for last, despised... As humans it is so easy to get carried away in our own little worlds, goals, tasks, to-do lists, children, spouses, etc. that we forget him so easily. We reject His calling.

This week I also came to realize I'm doing way too much at one time. I'm working part time at a design firm, I'm managing my husband's business, I'm trying to start up my own business, I'm a mom to a toddler (that alone should be enough), I'm a wife, I'm a teacher for teens at my church, and I'm doing the Luke bible study over at Good Morning Girls! How am I still alive?!

Through all of this I've pushed my God aside. Yeah, I'm studying, but I'm not really studying. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes we just go through the motions and think it's enough. Sadly, it's not. If you're not doing it wholeheartedly, don't even bother.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)
Don't let yourself be the one to be disqualified from this run! Don't just run to run- REALLY RUN. Let God be your legs, so that you may win. I am currently working on trying to pray more. It's something I've let myself get used to being without, and it's not a great feeling. It's a lonely feeling. Will you join me and take two minutes out of your day and just talk to Him?


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